Unfortunately, I still am having a lot of problems sleeping. I can fall asleep fairly easily but I cannot stay asleep. I wake up almost every hour. I was explaining to my Father that the days when I sleep through most of the night are as memorable as a good vacation, and happen about as often.
I have become totally reliant on drugs to help me sleep. Unfortunately my tolerance is through the roof. I have been taking 10 mg of ambien every night for about 7 months now. Of course people say “I take it when I need it.” Well, I need it every night, there is never a time when I think that I don’t need to sleep. So, based on that and how stressed out I get when I am about to run out, I’m fairly certain, I am addicted.
I have also been self medicating with Ativan, another bad one. Benzo addiction is no fun. I have been taking it for my massive anxiety and it’s been incredibly effective. The problem, benzo’s are addictive. I am taking around 4 mg throughout the day. I have not been having panic attacks at work. I can walk into a meeting and present without going blind or turning blotchy and red, this is good. I guess it’s a toss up. The problem is I don’t have my own prescription so I am reliant on someone else to give them to me and that train could leave the station at any time, I need to get to a Dr. for my own.
On the bad nights, which is often, I have been known to take 10 mg of ambien, 1 mg of ativan, and tylenol pm. I know, I know, not good. Everyday is the best day and the worst day to quit.
My restless leg crap has been kicking up again, and I know why. I was given a two week trial of requip but I want to wait until it comes back every night before I try it. I think I have enough pills in my system as it is.
